There is a common pattern with capable, high-achieving women who desire more love, support, intimacy, visibility, or growth.
It is the feeling that what they want is always somewhere ahead of them.
It shows up in their body as a sensation of urgency, restlessness, and pressure: I need to do more, I need to try harder. I need to become better. I need to figure this out.
The feeling of urgency is how they have related to love, money, or work for years, so they often don´t notice that their system rarely comes down to a state of safety or support around that area.
When your body is driven by urgency, you are rushing toward the relationship, the next level in your work, the answer, the thing that will finally make you feel supported.
And taking your time to build an inner foundation of safety feels counterintuitive to a system that is used to relating to love or support through effort and strain.
But it is the pressure to „get there“ that makes it difficult for your system to notice when support, love, connection, and being held are already available.
When I work with clients whose bodies are used to creating from pressure, they are often looking for careers and relationships that look impressive, „shiny“, exciting, or special.
Their system isn´t yet used to the feeling of being at home within themselves and being supported and held. Younger parts of them are chasing the feeling of being chosen, special, and wanted by someone who they´ve put on a pedestal.
To build love and a career where you feel held, cherished, and supported, we need to help your body cultivate the feeling of being held from within.
When you already feel loved, chosen, and wanted, the invisible obstacles that kept the desire at arm´s length fall away. You create FROM the state of being held, loved, and supported. Your system is no longer trying to earn that state, earn love, or earn success.
The feeling you were trying to create through the relationship, goal, or success is something your body starts experiencing now.
This is what we practice inside The Sanctuary of an Embodied Woman. This Friday we are beginning a new topic: HELD.
HELD is about helping your body cultivate the feeling of being loved, cherished, safe, protected, and supported.
We learn to slow down in the moments where your body was used to rushing past what could nourish you.
Maybe your partner is already trying to support you or craving connection, but the pressure inside your system makes you busy thinking about what needs to be done next.
Maybe you´re overlooking someone who would be a great relationship partner, because they don´t make you work hard for their support or care, and it doesn´t feel as exciting or special as the relationships you are used to.
Maybe there is a way of running your business that would feel more supportive, but the urgency you feel in your body doesn´t let you slow down for long enough to implement it.
When you show your body how to slow down safely (we do this together in The Sanctuary) more of your energy stays with you.
The energy that you are no longer using on rushing your body past its capacity, fixing other people, controlling how you are being perceived, or chasing the next outcome, stays with you.
You can now use it to build a cozy, warm feeling of home inside: a safe, supportive presence that you can return to wherever you are.
The more you keep your presence with yourself, the more the feeling of home nourishes you. And the more nourished you feel inside yourself, the less you need to sacrifice yourself to create what you want.
From this state, your system starts recognizing and letting in people and opportunities that are already healthy and whole themselves and that will nourish you in return.
As your body becomes more familiar with being held and supported, it doesn’t need to keep creating the old feeling of stimulation.
You create and build your relationships from calm, peacefulness, and spaciousness.
The energy that stays in your body over time turns into capacity, and capacity allows your system to receive even more goodness in the form of love, support, and connection.
If you would like to learn a new way of relating to yourself and others that feels nourishing, healthy, and supportive, and to use a body-based approach to cultivate a feeling of home within, you are welcome to join us inside the Sanctuary of an Embodied Woman.
