What if you can have the relationship and career you want without changing yourself or trying harder?
The biggest obstacle that keeps very empathic, smart women from the love and career they want is self-doubt.
It´s a sneaky feeling that dims the woman´s light and makes her spiral into confusion in situations where the solution is right in front of her.
Self-doubt often shows up as blaming yourself for how a man is showing up in the relationship and trying to “tweak” yourself to inspire him to be better instead of letting go sooner of what doesn’t work for you.
It shows up as feeling like your work is not good enough or comparing yourself to others and trying to get it right instead of trusting your unique skills and what feels good and sustainable for you.
For very capable, intuitive women, having what they want is more about what they stop doing than about doing more.
Some of the needle movers are: realizing that you are not responsible for how others show up; not making excuses for flaky behavior or disrespect and disengaging sooner; letting others show you how capable their are; not being on dating apps if it doesn´t feel right to you; leaving behind relationships that make you feel exhausted and constantly triggered or frustrated; and creating a workflow that supports your energy and skills rather than draining them…
What happens every time a woman follows what feels good to HER and what she secretly wanted to do all along is that the voice of her inner little girl, who feels scared, inevitably shows up and tells her: “It’ll never happen for me. I am not good enough to be chosen. There’s something wrong with me. If I don’t make it happen, I’ll miss out. What if nothing better comes? I have to figure this out on my own, but it feels hard…”
It´s at this moment that most women, instead of bringing in their adult Self (the empowered parent within) and learning to self-validate, give in to the inner child´s illusions and stop themselves from receiving what they desire.
The voice of the inner child who doesn’t know how to trust herself and who feels unsupported and unheard makes you stay longer in relationships and environments that are not a fit, creating more drama and confusion.
This voice is often accompanied by urgency and activation in your body. Very capable women are used to „solving“ the urgency by taking more action. In your body, it feels like pressure to do something right now or else you will miss out on an opportunity. This is how you learn to recognize the voice of the struggling inner child.
She doesn´t need you to take more action. She needs to know that she is already enough as she is and that she doesn´t have to „figure it out“ on her own or work hard for love and support.
This is where you want to learn to bring in the voice of the empowered parent. The supportive, loving, and protective presence of an empowered parent is the missing link for most empathic, capable women. They know how to support others, but no one showed them how to bring that same support and protection to the part of them that feels unsafe or unsure.
Your adult Self (with the help of the empowered parent) can see right through the illusions of the inner child, and it comes in to support her.
This is the voice that you longed to hear as a little girl but might have never received: “I am here with you. I am not going anywhere. You are perfect exactly as you are. We will figure it out together, one step at a time. We can slow down. Other people’s behavior is their responsibility…”
What does it feel like in your body when you hear this reassuring voice?
The presence of the empowered parent feels calm, strong, grounded, and doesn’t let you sacrifice your well-being for the ultimate goal (whether it´s a relationship, income, or a fitness goal).
The empowered parent allows your adult Self to see through the illusions of the little girl and stops you from taking action out of fear or urgency. This keeps you out of relationships and environments that dim your light.
The combination of acknowledging the inner child’s fears and staying with her, without spiraling into self-doubt, is what, over time, creates a feeling of inner safety and security. This security helps your system relax while you move closer to what you want.
To receive something new (that your system hasn’t experienced yet), you want to: disengage from any drama, trust your body´s cues over what other people say, do much less in relationships than you’re used to, and open up space to receive what you want while bringing in the empowered parent when part of you feels overwhelmed.
This is the foundation of what we practice together in The Sanctuary of an Embodied Woman and in one-on-one somatic work. You learn to bring more of your adult Self into your relationships and work, which transforms how you feel about yourself and how you show up.
You bring with you a strong sense of already being enough and feeling supported from within as you take the right next step for you.
What would change for you if you knew that you were already enough as you are?
It’s not an outside strategy or advice that helps you “close the gap” between where you are and what you desire; it’s an inner awareness journey of noticing the ideas, messages, and nudges that you are already receiving from life and following them from a feeling of inner wholeness and self-trust.
The presence of the empowered parent catapults you into a new paradigm of emotional maturity that elevates your vision and the way you navigate your life.
There is so much more ease, effortlessness, and fulfillment in navigating life and relationships with self-trust. That´s when you finally become available to an empowered partner, healthy connections, and opportunities that support you and your unique skillset.
The stronger the empowered parent in you becomes, the more you know how to self-validate, and the brighter your light shines for the right people and opportunities to recognize you.
When the voice of an emotionally available parent is already familiar to your system, you can easily spot it outside of yourself – in a partner, friend, or business opportunity. This is where you no longer waste time going on dates or staying in relationships that don´t feel good because the little girl is hoping the relationship will change.
You are free to receive the next best step for you, enjoy the journey of building a life that supports you, and create from a sense of wholeness and feeling good enough.
It’s from this state of inner wholeness and feeling like they are already enough that the women I work with are able to recognize the right partner for them, change the structure of their business so it finally supports them and their unique skills, or receive and sustain a deeper connection in a relationship with the right person for them.
I created The Sanctuary of an Embodied Woman for the empathic woman who is used to being the strong one and who wants to finally experience relationships that feel supportive, healthy, and nourishing. The tools we learn together are designed to support your body and nervous system in building deep self-trust and a sense that you are enough exactly as you are.
You can join us HERE.
If one-on-one somatic support is a better fit, I have a 10-week program for high-achieving women who want to learn a new way of relating in love and work that feels healthy, supportive, and much easier than what they are used to. We work specifically with your nervous system and attachment patterns for the best long-term results.
You can apply HERE.
